Now...... there's times when I like being a creature of habit. There's certain things that just have to be the same for me. I'm not saying that I don't like being spontaneous, at times I have been known to go completely mad and do crazy things like ............. put salad cream on me toasted cheese sandwich instead of mayonnaise, but there are some things that just have to be the same for me every day, especially early in the morning when, as most of ye who know me will vouch for my early morning cheery dispostion and gentle, caring nature.
Call it routine. I get up at the same time each day, I put my various items of clothing on in the same order (although logic rather than routine should dictate in what order you put your clothes on), I go to the train station via the same route, I stand in the exact same position on the platform, I board the train by the same door, and until quite recently, I sit in the exact same seat.
There are many reasons for this, but the main one is that during the course of my 1hr 10min train journey I like to read for a bit and then sleep for approx 20 mins. While I'm sleeping I like to rest my head on that little red box that contains the emergency hammer, it's my, sort of pillow if you will.
In the last couple of weeks however my routine has been severly disrupted by one of those goons that you see walking around everywhere, you know the type, just learned to walk upright a couple of days ago, knuckles trailing along the ground, is usually found attached to the other end of enormous power tools or swinging out of scaffolding on building sites wearing illuminous vests, although judging by the size of this fucker I'm amazed that anyone would fail to see him.
He practically stands on top of me waiting for the train, when it arrives we both do the sideways platform shuffle, elbows flying, trying be at the door when the train stops. When the door opens we both make a beeline for the same seat. It's all out war!
So far it's 50/50, but what I can't understand is ........ we are the only two people in the fucking station at that fucking hour of the fucking morning and the only two fucking people getting onto that fucking train, why can't he fuck the way away to some other fucking carraige and sit in another fucking seat because that fucking seat, yes THAT seat is MY.. FUCKING.. SEAT!!!!!!
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10 comments:
Are you MAD?
Salad cream is far superior to mayo. Also it's far superior to mayonnaise.
d'OH should use spellcheck
It took me a good ten tries to get anything close to that spelling for mayonnaise. Which is why "mayo" is a more sensible way of spelling things.
Also it leads to many opportunities for taking the piss out of the county, which can only be a good thing.
'mayo' excellent, i'm sure i can work that one in there sometime.
It will only a matter of time before the Mayo Bock takes offense. Then ye'll be sorry.
Fuck 'im.
I've already passed details to my Mayo branch. When they've finished fighting the fucking Guards at Rossport, expect a call.
I pretend to have Tourette's syndrome when that happens. Shifts them pretty quick.
hahaha, this is so retarded, i had some ppl tonight, was in the pub i went to get a drink et voila when i arrive home to my seat they had stolen it.... my so called 'friends' didnt claim the seat as mine tho.
Fucking tards, obviously they don't regard me as high as these numptys who stole my seat.
Fucking grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
PEACE to ur hammer pillow seat!!
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