Dumb-rellas!

What is it about rainy days that makes me want to smash people's heads in? Nope, it's not the obvious one, the rain, nor is it the fact that I can't go and lounge around Stephen's Green or Iveagh Gardens on my lunch break, I'm afraid it's the potentially lethal weapon that many idiots carry around with them and use so carelessly, i.e. d'umbrella, that really gets my goat up.
I'm not long back from strolling around Grafton street for my lunch (Yes, I know, I'm working strange hours this week) and I feel, and look like I've just gone twelve rounds with Mike Tyson and a pack of rabid dogs. And it's always little people (I'm six foot two) that carry them and wave them around like they're in a frigging Harry Potter movie. And as for the suits with their humungous golf umbrellas, how big do they think their fucking heads are?
One would need the reflexes of a Ninja on speed and the footwork of an irradiated uber Flately just to get from one end of Grafton Street to the other without being horribly disfigured. Come the time of my Socialist Republic, all umbrellas will be banned and the people will be issued with the instructions 'Take your Raincoat you stupid Fucker!'.