I can't sleep! It's 2.09am and MsB3n is out for the count. Something's keeping me awake. Pangs of guilt I have been feeling for the last week or so. Y'see on holidays, I was solely responsible for the death of an animal, one of Mother Nature's magical creations and it's been bugging me ever since. I have a very strict list of things that I will kill on sight only if they breach my comfort zone and until very recently that list had one thing on it, Wasps, the skinheads of the insect world, since then I've added Mosquitos, devilish little blood sucking vampires. This one was different. I killed a fish, whipped him (or her I couldn't tell) right out of the water and killed it and no-one even ate it, such a waste.
Most days during the week I went fishing, but the worst thing that can happen to me when I go fishing is that I actually catch something. I dont fish very often but when I do, I don't fish with the intention of catching anything just the mantra of casting out and reeling in, casting out and reeling in, casting out and reeling in can be so meditative that I could happily do it for hours and it's not to be spoiled by a sudden jerking on the rod that starts the brutal series of events that you must complete in order to let the poor bugger go.
So there I was, casting out and reeling in, casting out and reeling in, casting out and reeling ...... FUCK ..... I've got a bite!!
Bollocks!!
Don't panic, let it run a bit then turn it's head!
Ok now pull on the rod!
Reel it back!
Pull on the rod!
Reel it back!
Pull on the rod...
Reel it back....
Take it in to the shallows, the line will break if you try to reel it straight out!
Got it!
Get the hook out!
FUCK!
He's swallowed the whole fucking thing, get the hook disgorger!
Easy....... easy
The fish wriggles too much, the disgorger slips and removes the hook, along with most of the fish's gills
SHIT!
Only one thing for it, smash it's head off a rock..... PLAPP!!
For the rest of the week I set the rod up to catch things that I knew definitely didn't swim in that lake, Manta Rays and Giant Squid etc. And as I type I'm looking at my aquarium and at my own fish. They're looking at me funny... They know..... THEY KNOW!!!
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4 comments:
Go back to sleep man!
You could do worse... yes much worse...
Shoot tourists like Grandad!
Right. No point calling you, then, when we mobilise to wipe out all the skangers.
Or maybe you could do the paperwork.
Cheers Grannymar, once I wrote about it I was able to sleep
Bock, I have no problem with skangers, I have a shotgun and am waiting for the call. I just don't like killing defenseless creatures. I am a Vegetarian after all.
I'm a big softee too, with the same rule of thumb as you... Only kill it if it's small and brainless and bugging the shit out of you, or alternatively only if you're going to eat it, but you don't know that that fishy wasn't a fish mob boss or something. You could've done that river a huge service!
I've lately taken to killing flies. I enjoy feeding them to my carnivorous plants and watching the traps shut while I do the evil laugh thing. Passes the weekend...
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